An Assignment

Hello friends and random internet people!  I have an assignment that I need your help with.  Really, I don’t need your help; I need the help of the blogging format.  It seems to make these sorts of things easier for me.  (Your ideas are also appreciated.)

The assignment is for a diversity in education class.  I am supposed to make a video that tells a compelling story (not a scrapbook) of my life, or part of it, and relates to course concepts.  The problem is that I don’t think my life is very interesting.  Sure, I’ve been blogging about it for years, sometimes quite frequently, but those posts aren’t interesting.  I honestly do not know why people read them.  They’re not about anything.  They’re not a story.  They’re just…there.

So what I’m going to try to do is just write up some thoughts or segments of thoughts and try to blend them together into a narrative of some sort, hopefully.

Share a compelling story about yourself, she says, as if everyone has a compelling story to share.  No problem, I think, except for one tiny detail:  I am not interesting.  My life is simply not a book someone would stay awake late to finish.  It’s just not.

But everyone is interesting in their own unique way, they say.  Maybe.  Except for me.  I have good reason to be uninteresting:  I have spent much of my life doing nothing.  I literally sit and stare at walls or sleep for days.  This does not make for a very interesting life.  I’m sorry, but it’s true.

Perhaps the reasons behind my lack of activity are more interesting, but they are not me.  I am chronically, majorly, hopelessly depressed.  I am almost constantly filled with anxiety.  I take inordinate amounts of time to count, balance, and repeat things.  It is ridiculous, and probably interesting to the right sorts of people, but their interest is not in me.  Their interest may be in something that often dictates my life, but it is not my life.  It is not what makes me a compelling person.  At least, it would not be what makes me compelling if my life were actually interesting.

So what kind of story does a person as uninteresting as me have to share?  To be honest, I don’t really know.  I could tell you a grand tale of misery and solitude, perhaps even of modest triumphs here and there, but that’s not my style.  I honestly feel that nothing in my life is worthy of a three-minute video.  I don’t even know if there’s enough in my life to make a three-minute video, other than some piece of conceptual art featuring a girl staring at a wall in silence for three minutes.  Maybe that would be interesting to the right sorts of people, but the right sorts of people would never see it because it would never be featured in the Guggenheim.  And the sorts of people who would spend two seconds watching it would be the sorts of people who get bored and don’t “get” it.  They would probably complain about it being pointless and uninteresting.  And they would probably be right.

Instead of showing you a silent film of the oh-so-exciting wall-staring pastime that is sweeping the nation, I will attempt to tell you a story.  It is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world and while she looked so sad in photographs….that’s been done before, hasn’t it?

Someone has just come up and wants to study for our drawing midterm because I was smart enough to bring the book with me.  I guess I will do that, since studying is generally a good idea, and I’ll work on this more later.

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